Do you know what else I worry about? Weight. I am too heavy. I was always thin. I was always the skinny kid. In High School, so many of my friends had eating disorders. Even though I didn’t (or so I thought), I would partake in some of there food games. One of our favorites was to see who could go the longest period of without eating over x number of calories (normally 50-100 a day). When we had gone as long as we could, we would pool our money and buy TONS of junk food and see who could eat the most. This was followed by who could puke the most or take the most laxatives… you know, your general High School fun!
Fast forward 20 years and I still have a weight issue. I sort of had it under control but then I had a baby & then 18 months later I had another. Add a year of breastfeeding to that (which I of course used as license to eat at will) ans I was FAT! I tried to go back to Weight Watchers, I had been successful in the past, but this time no luck. I am an emotional eater with a ridiculous response to looking int he mirror…instead of looking at myself and saying “I am too heavy, I need to lose weight.” I look at myself and say “I am too heavy, I need cake!” This has gone on for the better part of 4 years. I was extremely successful last year and lost 63 pounds. Sadly, as I stated, I am an emotional eater so when Big G, the girls & I moved to an unfamiliar place and he worked 70+ hours I ate and ate…I ate because I had no friends here, I ate because he was gone 1 or 2 nights a week, I ate because I was too heavy.
I am changing that I am back on the Weight Watcher plan. I am on my second week…it is much harder this time but maybe that will make me stick with it…even after I’ve lost the weight. So I am counting…all the way up to 26, everyday!
